I (we) can/do, so why can’t you?

be curious not judgemental

It has been a while since I sat down to write!  Parents, you know once the school year is close and then begins, you are running through routine and the days pass very quickly!  So not that things have calmed down, I am taking the time to write/blog again.

So, I have been coming to grips with one of my biggest personality flaws lately, and I wonder if there are others out there that can relate.  I am the type of person that holds people to a high standard, which is the same standard I hold myself to.  So, if I react/do/say/handle situations in a particular way, I think, “Well, why can’t they?”

For instance, I work in a school, and that means dealing with parents.  Fellow moms and dads, you know that the first day of school, regardless of what grade your child is in, that you are going to be receiving forms home to fill out and send back that deal with emergency contact information, allergies, etc.  Those forms are usually due back no later than the end of that first week of school.  Well, I am the type of mom who, when the forms are taken out of the backpack and the conversation about the first day happenings is over, fills it out immediately.  Now, I do not do this because I am perfect, I do it because I don’t want to forget and I know it is important to the safety of my child at school.  So, when I am waiting for days, even weeks, for the forms to be returned from parents, I get extremely irritated.  In my opinion, how can that be taken lightly?  I feel myself passing judgement on these parents without know thing their story, simply because it is something I think of as important and do immediately.

That is my biggest flaw.


Not only because it defines me as a judgemental person, but it causes me to be unhappy with situations and people simply because they do not do things as I would.  Now I am not like this with everything, but I am like this enough to know I need to change.

In my journey of change, I am realizing that society as a whole is the exact same way.  Case in point: the public scrutiny of Janay Palmer.  If you do not know her by name, you know her as the, “NFL wife beaten up in the elevator”.  Isn’t that a shame that the majority of you that read that probably went, “Ohhhhh yeah” after you read who I was referring to?

So, Janay Palmer is being judged by the public because she didn’t leave Ray Rice; because she married him anyway, because she went back home with him after the elevator beating, because she stayed.  Well, it may be an exaggerated example, but this is how I have been thinking about others – if I wouldn’t take something, if I wouldn’t do/say something, if I wouldn’t react in a certain way, why can’t someone else?  I am not bringing up Janay Palmer for a debate, I am simply stating that before I/we judge another for their choices, we should probably understand that we DO NOT understand someone and what they live with.

So, I am taking this journey to correct my own flaw.  It would make me a happier person if I just “did me” and let everyone else handle themselves.  I am going to take the steps to be more empathetic before placing blame.  I will have patience with this process and not jump to conclusions.

Does anyone else do this?  Has anyone had experience with this or been on the other end of the judgement?