So, my last post was about my dramatic divorce from Facebook. Yes, it was in dramatic fashion that I left the social media giant. I let only a handful of people know I was leaving, and I deleted – completely deleted – my life from Facebook. I hated it for all the reasons I listed, and, I still do for all of those reasons. But, like any relationship, I began dwelling on the things I loved and missed about it. So, after my month an a half separation, I started another FB profile.
The most important thing I missed were the connections with some people. Sure, even after I left FB I was still in contact with some people, but pictures, babies etc. were things I was missing out on. I didn’t realize how much I enjoyed it because I was too annoyed with the things I hated about FB. So now, my I re-friended only 45% of the friends I had before the separation. That way, I don’t have the annoying updates and complaints, and I have only the people I want to follow. Also, my school is holding an auction on Facebook that I would not have been able to participate in without an account. So you may be thinking, “Why didn’t you just un-friend those you didn’t want to hear from and move on, instead of deleting your FB profile?” Well, because like any separation, there are layers as to why I left.
I was an aimless FB scroller. I lost time scrolling, reading, angering myself with things, and making it my mission to respond to the ‘injustices’ of social expression. In the time I was gone from FB, I read four books, and half of another. FOUR! I could barely get through one book club book in six weeks before my separation. I found time to DO things, instead of reading about others do things.
Finally, it was more personal for me to leave. I live with anxiety issues, but they do not define me. I do, however, have a difficult time with dwelling, rehashing, etc.; all the typical textbook symptoms. So, if I had a debate on FB, it would carry with me long after the laptop was shut down. If I saw something upsetting, it would stick with me; I couldn’t separate my mind from it all.
So, wrap all of those things in a tight little package, and you have all the emotions of my separation.
Now, I have a healthier relationship with Facebook. I am still not opening the laptop first thing in the morning, I limit my time when I am on. I don’t post as much, but still participate, and I decline “friend” requests because I can. I have a more adult relationship with FB now, and it makes me happy.
Have any of you gone through this struggle with social media?